I went completely wrong, totally round the bend. After an all night hysterical and completely pointless screaming fit directed at my Mum and Dad how was I supposed to think they'd feel. It's behind me now. I've moved on. Maybe I was just paranoid or crazy or something bad overtook me which seems to be the case way too often. Music brings me a lot of pleasure, but I was going after something that would have brought me a lot of pain and misery. Thankfully, it all worked out brilliant in the end with my contact in NJ just down the road, but after 10 more records to finish off the year bar Xmas come tomorrow I'm just in listening not buying mode- I'm through with buying, selling, trading. It's become monotonous, downright tiresome. On to better things.
-A Big Surprise Even Ireland Can Produce Great Bands-
I firmly take the English/British side on everything. Well, to put it more correctly I don't like the Irish too much and will always side with the British Army against them in Northern Ireland. However, do I believe that England should have gone in there to "fix" what wasn't its own problem? No. Once the soldiers were there there wasn't too much they could do about it. It was another stupid war, but my Anglo, Scottish, and even the Irish part of my nationality have led to a lot of stupidity from people. If I use a word that an English, Scotch, or Irishman would use here most people think I'm mad or just don't know what I'm on about. Before the Troubles and during them I am surprised to find that Ireland produced a whole lot more great music than just the remarkable Van Morrison, his first band Them, and Thin Lizzy. While I am British side to the core even advocating the retaliation against the rock-throwing and armed mob of Catholics on the infamous Bloody Sunday in 1972 I think it's utter bullshit that Irish bands were given the backhanded side of everything in England. For instance, Granny's Intentions who started back in the mid 1960s were probably thrown out the window when their album was recorded and released in 1970 after much hard work the previous year on the material within. I keep coming back to this record and the songs, performances, and the production are amazing. Easily if there is a Rural Westcoast Irish Open Mind to match the Rural Westcoast English Open Mind of Shape Of The Rain it's this. Incidentally, I will have back Shape Of The Rain and the best copy I'll ever have tomorrow. There is the 1960s vibe still there quite a bit, but Granny's Intentions' HONEST INJUN is a very eclectic album throwing hard rock, psych, bluesy progressive moves, country rock, and British Tull-like folkrock into the mix. Keep in mind the Troubles started in 1969 and by 1970 it wasn't good if you were an Irish person or a British soldier. I think you see my point. Obviously, Granny's Intentions were not just looked at as a rock and roll band which is how it should have been. They were from Limerick. That made them Irish and that made their name a dirty word. Stupidity reigns supreme again. It's hard enough to earn a living playing music if you are from the English Mainland, but Scottish, Welsh, and Irish bands in particular had a miserable time getting anywhere. I had a copy of the HONEST INJUN masterpiece 10 years ago and gave it the short in the end because God knows what. Now I'd say it's absolutely obligatory to have a copy and for another rarity equally obligatory to hear the amazing sound on a mint Mono copy. Another band, a band that have been a favourite for 20 years that were so good that Jimi Hendrix himself produced and endorsed them is Eire Apparent- a funny play on words. I would surmise from the names of the band that they were mainly Protestants, but if memory serves me correctly they came from Van Morrison territory in Belfast. Their album is produced stunningly by Hendrix and his influence shows through in one of the most perfect psych records ever made. There are reflective numbers and heavy ones with heavy making up most of the album, but melodic, tuneful, well-crafted heavy psych. Ernie Graham had one of the most unique voices in rock and was quite a writer too. Jimi took the band under his wing. He nurtured them in the studio and made sure they'd sound really good. They came close to making it, but ultimately their being Irish meant they were doomed. How idiotic can you get!? I know of quite a few bands from Wales and Scotland too who had to work for years to make it if they did make it. For instance, before they were headlining themselves and scoring 2 huge hits with "Magic" off FROM THE ALBUM OF THE SAME NAME and "January" off SECOND FLIGHT Scottish power pop maestros Pilot were struggling musicians who went into the studio pissed to Hell after being forced to open for the squeaky clean despicable Bay City Rollers. In America there isn't that sort of problem where if you come from a certain state or geographical area you will get nowhere but ignored with a few exceptions. In the 1960s it helped to be from California, but the diversity of musicians led many bands to come out of just about anywhere and get signed. England has been unfair and unkind to quite a few bands especially from Ireland. If you're good you're good no matter where you're from and it doesn't matter. That's coming from somebody who has pretty much no love at all and no sympathy at all for Ireland especially during the Troubles, but let me be more specific. I mean the IRA, the IRA supporters, and Northern Ireland.
-Back In My Halcyon Days Of Yore I Found Myself Now I Need To Find Me Again-
I've really gone wrong. Seriously, I've fucked my life into the ground and that needs to end. I was formerly somebody who was patient, giving, kind, strong-willed, resourceful, admirable, and handsome. I seem to finally have acknowledged to myself that it is time to go back to the real me and back to my roots. My best days were in High School and in my mid 20s. I weighed a whole lot less and also my ego took up a lot less room. When I think of my teenaged days I feel pretty good and pretty sad at the same time. There were a lot of good friends and a lot of bad enemies as always, but I was very much somebody who was solid all round. I was getting really good at the guitar and my record buying was under control more, but I certainly was gaining a lot of precious information about good 60s/70s music- still my favourite eras. Now of course I'm much more open minded and will listen to anything that's great music. I've been out of the closet for many years and am proud of that huge part of me which was shrouded in high school. I'm really sharp about good music and what is good and what is shite music, but I've gone too far into the obsessive starkly ominous side of my personality where I feel like I'm a failure half the time so I inflict my sorrow on other people. And I have a whole lot of enemies after me. Things were pretty shit till right now having a wake up call today after flying off the handle, but I have come to the true conclusion that much of that is my own damned problem and I can stop the vicious cycle from repeating. I'm going off the bad stuff and onto the good things. Getting a lot of peace and rest and making up with my family. I had found myself as a Mod/Hippy/Soldier nexus in high school with dashing good looks, long hair, and a very extravagant manner. I identify very much with soldiers even more now that I know a whole lot of them and have spent time with lots of them, but I have for too long thought that I couldn't be that person and be more mature, I couldn't be that person without the long hair and brilliant looks. That is wrong. A complete misnomer. I CAN BE GREAT AGAIN AND I WILL BE GREAT AGAIN. My best years after high school came after a horrible fat pig period in my early 20s when I got to be 25-28. That was the best 3 years I'd had since high school bar frightening age 27 when after our beloved first cat died I nearly was dead and required emergency surgery. When I look back on 28 in particular I can see how I adapted new ways into what is the integral part of me and how I can't just because I've been suffering in my 30s inflict that suffering on people who care about me. I'm going back to where I should be. I lived in the past a whole lot less in my mid 20s. I had a fresh take on life and I'd have to say living in the past has been my biggest error that has led to all the record overindulgences and insanity. Something may make you feel good in the abstract, but you have to think. My mother is right- I've been my own worst enemy and now I need to be my own best friend. I've gone way too far in the wrong direction. Now is the time to turn it all around.
Music is a huge help to me. Having a much more eclectic and optimistic take on the records I collect has been key to feeling good and getting into the best music there is. I'm open to a lot of things I wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole back in high school days, but I'm still a Mod/Hippy/Somewhat still soldier hybrid/nexus. I'm less soldier now that I know more about what goes into that and what gets taken away. My heart breaks for those kids/men who are getting screwed over in Afghan and terrified. I wouldn't want to be one anymore. I still would like to have and will have that same fighting spirit and determination, but I know now that I can't be a true warrior type because that isn't me and I don't need to fight anything except injustices and stupidities in the world. Lately I find myself happiest listening to music late at night or relaxing during the day, but there's even more to life than that- a whole lot more. I'm gonna get to that whole-lot-more-to-life right now. Good evening and best regards to the good people and fuck the idiotic ones. I'm on my way to better times ahead. Goodbye to the fat pig.