I can't believe it. No entries since the beginning of July!!!!!? Am I that far gone and demolished by all the Hell I've been through!!!? Maybe I am, but maybe I'm going to strike back now. I've had the biggest worst falling out of my life and no moral support at home thanks to irrationality. I'm really battered down and wounded. I don't want to tie up this blog entry with the whole story, so here's a small summation. Where do I begin? That I spent all my summer going there spending ludicrous money only to be lied, cheated, swindled, and maligned after half a lifetime of me going there!? That the owner turns out to be a complete bastard? It's a real shock to be lied to that many times by him and his staff and I just kept wishing that it wasn't really happening to me. It's a tragedy for sure and I'm just so horrified I don't know how to express it. I think of revenge, but it does no good. I think of trying to sit down with my mother and father and come up with some kind of real concrete plan about a new start and my future, but I have NO SUPPORT AT HOME. The store is a fraud and a lie and is no longer in my life. I'm slamming the same door that was slammed in my face.
-A Trip Back In Time And A Trip To The Present Day Still Residing In Hell-
What I've learned through the years is that you don't ever succumb to physical violence. That will get you nowhere except jail, the madhouse, or at least a few broken bones. I wish people could see that MUSIC IS THE GIFT TO HEAL THE WOUNDS EVERYONE SOMETIMES SUFFERS. I would get into scraps in school back at the beginnings of my time and then it just seemed like every physical battle I was losing. Even a few infamous ones that I succeeded in pulling off left me completely drained. If you are a reader go find a really good book. If you love movies then go find some movies that won't upset you to watch, but are riveting enough to get the point across. If you, like me, want the best things there are that can transcend and put you in a whole other world MUSIC IS THE TRUE GOD! This isn't new to me. Now I blast my music alone in my room where I feel safe and in the beauty known as solitude, but back in the beginning my mother and father and I used to turn the volume to the highest level and cruise around in the car. It's odd and a bit disturbing the way music and my vinyl addiction which I'm quite proud of are seen in my home. It's sad more than anything else. I find that I am best off alone sometimes, but not really alone. Music is the key to opening up your life to the real solution- love.
It's music that is giving me the only pleasure in life. Music, relaxing, basking in the Autumn sun, and trying to relieve the tensions and pressures of everyday life. Back in the darkest periods of private school Hell only music got me to a place where I could survive and I want to thank all the great bands that I still listen to even at my 38 years old age. I'm talking about what was once heavy metal before it all went wrong. Let's take a trip into the world of darkness and light. Come with me. Don't be afraid.
-Heavy Metal, Hard Rock, AOR, Progressive Rock, And All Classic Music Are Where It's At-
I can't believe that there were still persecutions against so-called "Controversial and Evil Music" in the mid to late 80s into the early 90s which eventually brought music down to something that truly is offensive and isn't music at all, but there were. I can't forget the mass burnings of bands as harmless as Uriah Heep by Evangelical Christian fanatics and other right wing organizations and the loathsome P.M.R.C run by Tipper Gore that tried to bring the entire world of heavy music and even soul/funk artists like Prince down. Even Michael Jackson, God Bless Him And His Memory, was often seen as "evil" and "A threat". I say that I see a pattern of racism and Neo Fascism here! Yeah, it was really bad.
Nowadays we have these fools trying to take over our country and the world. We have violent despots demolishing whole countries in acts of unforgivable hate. We have people without food and shelter who need our help and aren't getting it. The world is a dangerous place now and had metal triumphed over the real evils I'm sure that we'd all be living in a better place. Had the 60s dream of peace and harmonious living not been destroyed it would be a better place. What do you do when the bad guys and bad women are winning? As I said before violence solves nothing AND DON'T WATCH HORROR MOVIES! Horror films and the new media machine are the true evil. Parents and teachers who abuse their children are the real evil and abuse can be everything from physical and psychological harm to negligence.I experienced psychological torture in school and it was atrocious. I wish my mother would be as supportive now as she was then, but I'm not that young anymore and have to face that fact. I have always looked at music as what is the true saving grace and it really is. My taste is ultra-eclectic, but lately I've been going back to all my old favourites and a lot of new things too. Renia when I'm listening in the living room where the record player resides are my favourite band at the moment and they are as far from metal as you can get. They're my favourite band that I own. My favourite band that I don't own is an amazingly talented bunch of hard rockers from Mansfield in Northern England called Witchfynde. Do check them out they are all over YouTube. I'm hoping to get at least one of their records in the near future.
I think the wrong attitude is displayed towards music. It couldn't be more ridiculously misunderstood as a lot of the time in my own home. Yeah I'm a vinyl addict. I'm a vinyl and music junkie. I could care less. In fact, I'm proud of it. To think that something this harmless could turn my own parents against me is very sad, but I wouldn't say "against" really I would say more that they don't know what's really going on. I try to shut it out. I can appreciate their opinion even though I don't agree with it. I have so much tension in my life that I sometimes have really violent thoughts about becoming some kind of a warlock, but that would solve nothing. It never solves any struggle with anyone. I know that music is a gift from heaven- a wonderful thing that just never tarnishes when it really is classic. Even lesser division bands have their place if they had enough good songs. During the first wave of metal in the 70s some of the second division stuff was pretty interesting. During the 60s there was no room for anything except the absolute best music. The whole psychedelic movement may have had some bands that just tried to pull off ersatz psychedelic nonsense, but those bands often were more successful than the best bands in that whole genre. The bands who truly were creating musical revolution may not always have sold the most copies of their albums, but their music smashes right through the garbage of today! I mean bands like The Koobas, Jason Crest, The Move, The Who, The Yardbirds, and the great American and Canadian and European ones too. The last three especially the last two had huge successes, but what about The Pretty Things then? Why did they not break the market open with S.F SORROW? The album is now regarded as a classic and was highly thought of at the time by names as big as Pete Townsend in The Who and he has gone out on a limb to praise the hard work put into that album. Then there's The Zombies and The Marmalade. They had a few hits and then it was the end. The huge loving following wasn't enough to support either band, but thankfully they still have that following. Music is my obsession and my first love. It will stay that big a love when things are as bad as they are for me in times like now even more.
-Honoring The Fallen Heroes Of Music And A Tip Of The Hat To Soldiers-
In music there can be a lot of tragedies. The lifestyle which is by nature hard living often takes the lives of very talented people before their time, but then there is the more disturbing physical illness that killed off many of my biggest heroes from Ronnie James Dio to Frank Zappa to Steve Harris of Shy. I was shocked at the beginning of this year to find out that the amazing drummer Clive Burr had passed away too. Very bad. Music in and of itself can almost never be destructive. That isn't what it's here to do. If you listen to bands like Traffic, Cream, and the more soul/blues/jazzy ones and especially Procol Harum you are dining with The Gods! There also was a great band called that who turned into my favourite band ever Uriah Heep! Don't forget Deep Purple and another tragic ending in Jon Lord's death. He was one of the greatest geniuses ever to have roamed this planet and hopefully is playing his mighty B3 Hammond up there in Heaven now. Deep Purple were one of the first bands to really do freaky stuff and write art songs. There would be the Ian Gillan era where things took on a heavy metal edge with very progressive leanings and then there would be the fantastic David Coverdale and Glen Hughes period, but back at the beginning some of the most bizarre music ever made was created by Deep Purple. Listening to Frank Zappa is hard for me to do now without intense sadness. We have to honor the ones who gave us our inspirations and our dreams who are still doing it in Heaven, but not on earth. This brings me to my other main passion- soldiers.
I could go on for pages and pages and pages about how important soldiers are to me. They have inspired me, instructed me, and we've hit it off great. Never look past them and never look past music. They can save you. Violent acts and murderous thoughts should be put out of your mind and you should just go spend some time out in nature and let your mind clear. Take it on the easier level and don't get fucked up after getting fucked over by stupid people like I have been. I just slam the door on Siren and the people I hate. Life is too short to waste it in hatred. Look for many more entries and excitement soon!